Not for the faint of heart

it might be hard to read below so he is my testimony.

i grew up in probably one of the worst home imaginable. My mom and dad fought constantly. my dad pushed my mom down stairs and threatened her with guns. they got divorced when i was about 3 and i lived with my mom. My parents decided i should go to a Christian school and become religious even though they weren't. it was pretty fun. at the end of third grade my mom asked me if i wanted to go to shen and i did. i wasn't really in tune with the school. i didn't like the rules or how strict they were. I moved from shen in the middle of 5th grade to Schenectady. in 6th grade i got into so many fights my mom moved me back to the Christian school at the end of the 1st quarter. I was able to go back in 7th grade but i still got into fights. when i moved to Ballston Spa in 8th grade i had to go in to take tests. when i was dine i met Mr. Muller and he asked me to join the football team. i did and it was pretty fun but i got involved in wrong crowds. i smoked pot for the first time on my 14th birthday. after school later that week i was hanging out with one of my friends when we heard about vertical and decided to check it out for skating. i stayed for the whole thing because the speaker was pretty cool. i kept going back and i went to middle school camp that summer. when i got back my friend introduced me to the VPT leader Jon Wise. I got involved in production and it was fun. I got baptised in October and i thought it was gonna be easy life. during wrestling season i got caught up in more pot, chewing tobacco, and drinking. it wasn't everyday but i looked for it. in march i went to elevate and went i went through the window with Jon Wise i realized i screwed up my life, when i got back i fought my problems. In July i went to lift camp. I realized i still had problems in my life. I decided to break up with my then girlfriend and i broke of ties with old friends. In august we went to NYC and i had an awesome time.

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Listening to: David Crowder Band - Every Move I Make
via FoxyTunes

testimonies

******* (8:16:49 PM): hows life??

xmetsrockx21x (8:17:34 PM): pretty good.

****** (8:17:29 PM): kewl

******* (8:17:35 PM): thats good!!

xmetsrockx21x (8:18:26 PM): \yea hows urs

******* (8:18:50 PM): uhh its going good

*******(8:19:02 PM): better than it has in the past..

xmetsrockx21x (8:20:01 PM): thats....good?

*******(8:19:50 PM): yeah it is..

*******(8:20:03 PM): i had a hard week last week..

*******(8:20:11 PM): i made some really bad mistakes..

*******(8:20:44 PM): and i wasnt sure if i should ask for forgiveness.. but i did on sunday.. and i think God listened..

*******(8:20:49 PM): at least i hope he did..

xmetsrockx21x (8:21:26 PM): he did

*******(8:21:07 PM): i think so..

*******(8:22:11 PM): i am so happy that i found God this year.. im not sure i could have delt with some things without him.. but over the summer i feel i turned my back on him.. and i did somethings that were disrespectful.. and so...

*******(8:22:56 PM): but hopefully this club.. n the return of youth group.. and some of that stuff.. will help me get back on track with him..

xmetsrockx21x (8:24:05 PM): yea

*******(8:24:04 PM): i really want to learn his word.. and preach to others.. i want people to see what i have felt over the last few months..

*******(8:24:43 PM): its been super awsome.. and i think that by placing my self with other Christians.. may be what i need..

xmetsrockx21x (8:25:28 PM): yea probably

*******(8:25:34 PM): so..

*******(8:26:04 PM): how did u find God.. or where u raised with him in ur life.. see i wasnt.. my dad is athiest..

*******(8:27:30 PM): he hates God.. i want to help him and change him.. but im not sure i can. because this hate goes back to when my dad lost his whole family when he was nine.. but ive been praying for him.. and well the rest of my family too.. and i think im going to start taking my sister to church.. and maybe my nephew when hes older..

xmetsrockx21x (8:28:23 PM): wow

xmetsrockx21x (8:28:34 PM): here's my testimony

*******(8:28:17 PM): okayy

*******(8:38:59 PM): wow this must be long lol

xmetsrockx21x (8:40:45 PM): i grew up in probably one of the wrost home imaginable. My mom and dad fought constantly. my dad pushed my mom down stairs and threatened her with guns. they got divorced when i was about 3 and i lived with my mom. My parents decided i should go to a christian school and become religious even though they weren't. it was pretty fun. at the end of third grade my mom asked me if i wanted to go to shen and i did. i wasnt really in tune with the school. i didnt like the rules or how strict they were. I moved from shen in the middle of 5th grade to schenectady. in 6th grade i got into so many fights my mom moved me back to the christian school at the end of the 1st quarter. I was able to go back in 7th grade but i still got into fights. when i moved to ballston spa in 8th grade i had to go in to take tests. when i was dine i met mr. muller and he asked me to join the football team. i did and it was pretty fun but i got involved in wrong crowds. i smoked pot for the first time on my 14th birthday. after school later that week i was hanging out with one of my friends when we heard about vertical and decided to check it out for skating. i stayed for the whole thing because the speaker was pretty cool. i kept going back and i went to middle school camp that summer. when i got back my frined introduced me to the VPT leader Jon Wise. I got involed in production and it was fun. I got baptised in october and i thought it was gonna be easy life. during wrestling season i got caught up in more pot, chewing tabaco, and drinking. it wasnt everyday but i looked for it. in march i went to elevate and went i went through the window with Jon Wise i realized i screwed up my life, when i got back i fought my problems. In july i went to lift camp. I realized i still had problems in my life. I decided to break up with my then girlfriend and i broke of ties with old friends. In august we went to nyc and i had an aweosme time.

*******(8:42:25 PM): ohh WOW..

*******(8:43:06 PM): i never knew that kind of stuff about u.. but im glad that u broke those ties.. cause ur a cool kid.. n itd suck if u messed up ur life.

xmetsrockx21x (8:43:49 PM): yea

*******(8:45:38 PM): i tried pot when i was younger.. bout 5 or 6 times.. but i got sick after.. like puking n crap.. n my bro kept telling me it would get better.. but it didnt.. so i kicked that habit.. lol.. and i grew up in a shitty home too.. we lived over top of a bar.. my dad was an alcoholic.. n he beat my mom a few times.. but mostly all the abuse i got was sexual.. my dad has only layed a hand on me once or twice.. that i can remember.. and i desirved them.. lol.. but my mom.. shes the abusive one.. she left bruses on me all the time..

*******(8:47:45 PM): between her n my brother i didnt know who beat me more.. my parents got divorced when i was.. 6 i think.. and yeah.. but my brother took it the hardest.. he got in the wrong crowd too.. did pot. and other drugs.. got arrested for selling.. stole some plants from someguy and almost got murdered.. he was dealing and selling.. he had a pot plant in our back yard.. which my dog ate.. lol he was spaztic that day..

*******(8:47:57 PM): so i can sorta relate to what u had..

xmetsrockx21x (8:48:52 PM): yea

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Listening to: Family Force 5 - Numb
via FoxyTunes

Free Will

After finishing reading Josh's blog it got me thinking. God gave us free will didn't he. People think everyday that it's God's fault that everything in the world is gone bad. It's not. He gave us free will because He didn't want us to be like puppets. He hopes everyday that we will make the right choice instead of the easy choice. We go with the easy choice because: a. our friends will think we're cool, b. because we don't think of the consequences, and/or c. it doesn't take as much work. I faced with difficult choices everyday but I think about the long run, how will this affect me later in life. Some people think that my church is a "brainwashing cult" just because I have changed. They think that I'm a puppet because I'm different from who i was just 3 months ago. It's not that. I want to lead a good life and an even greater one in heaven.

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Listening to: Switchfoot - Stars
via FoxyTunes

over the blah

for any of you that read this blog and are my friend on myspace, the blah part of my name was because there was nothing I could do. There were no volunteer opportunities. Then my friend Ashlie said she needed help tye-dying shirts and bringing them to children in the hospital on Christmas Eve. That was God giving me another opportunity to help out people. I love how He is able to give us opportunities by working through other people.

stand tall

I'm not who you are, I'm who I am
I'm not a puppet, your not pulling the strings
Cut the ties that are holding me down
Rise up against your standards
I won't lower mine just to raise yours
I want to level the playing field
I want to see eye to eye
I won't bend, I won't break
I will always stand tall

nature

Empty field of bright green grass
Light blue sky full of puff-ball clouds
Bright blue seas full of beautiful fish
rain streams down the window
As thunder booms and lightning brightens the sky
Wind blows trees and lifts up leaves
The birds chirp and the squirrels scurry away
As I see all these things, I think
how beautiful nature is.

NYC mission trip '07

This trip was probably the best week of my life. I was able to help so many people and just bless them because of God. I had a great time with all of the people that went and just had a great time serving.

Sunday Night - Got to the church at about 6ish. Went to Project Hospitality HQ and took a quick tour. Saw where we were gonna take showers and we headed back to the church. We ordered pizza had a quick Bible study and went to sleep.

Monday - Went to 514 Bay street. It's PH's food pantry and soup kitchen. Jon and I stayed downstairs while everyone else went upstairs to paint. Jon and I met Pete, Jack, and John. We did a whole bunch of stuff from unpacking lunch boxes to taking out the trash. It was a lot of fun. When we were done we went back to the church and got ready to take showers at about 6. We went to the park by the showers and hung out there while the girls went and took showers. While the guys took showers the girls cooked spaghetti and meat sauce. We ate had a small Bible study, hung out for a while and slept.

Tuesday/Thursday - Food pantry/soup kitchen day. Some of us were upstairs helping people get their food, some of us were runners who but people's food downstairs for them, and some of us were downstairs packing people's groceries for them. during soup kitchen time we dressed up in aprons, gloves, and hair nets. We served people their food and then we ate. After the soup kitchen we went back to working the food pantry. On Tuesday we went to a seminar on substance abuse and homelessness. The two guys talked about how alcohol ruined their lives and led to homelessness and losing their families. On Thursday we went back to the same place and played with kids from the Project Hospitality apartment complex on the playground. These were kids who's parent was trying to get their life back together. The kids were so much fun and they were so cute. I wish I could play with them again.

Wednesday - I went with Bryan, Jon, Zach, and Joey to Key Food grocery store for a food drive. We handed out fliers to tell people what we need at the food pantry. Some people just walked right by and others dropped off bags full of food. We ended up with five carts full of food and sixty dollars in donations. I went in with Zach and Joey and we got ninety-two dollars worth of food. I pitched in the other thirty -two but Mrs. Hoenszch reimbursed me and said i answered her prayer. She wanted to take forty dollars and spend it on cans. I was happy. After we went to a seminar on HIV/AIDS where Joe, Paul, and Will talked about how HIV/AIDS affected their lives.

Friday - We went into the city by ferry. It was Awesomee. We saw the Statue of Liberty and we all took pictures. When we got off we went to Singa's Famous Pizzeria and had lunch. We went to Urban Outfitter and Zach bought a pair of really tight pants. We took the metro to Central Park but first we stopped in the Apple Store. I bought a new case for my iPod just for the bag. We went through central park and made our way to 72nd street so we could see the Dakota. We made our way to Time Square where we had dinner at a BBQ place. We met Vivian's cousin and then went to Toys 'r' us. Took the metro back to the ferry terminal and went back to Staten Island and made our way back home. Awesomee week.

my favorite verse

Isaiah 26:3 - Thou wilt keep Him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusth in thee.

Poem About NYC

Blood red moon over New York City
Night life more vibrant than ever.
The hustle and bustle, the busy streets
The beauty from afar, greater than ever.
City lights illuminated across the river
Boats moving swiftly through the water.
A gentle breeze sways the trees
It's all so beautiful, all so lovely.
A guitar strums gently in the background
Busy cars still at work, late at night.
It's just all the sights and sounds of the city,
But it's all so beautiful.