hey hey hey. before people get on me about it i want to clear it up...

The love I was talking about in the previous post >see below< was love between wife and husband, not the love of friendship. I know thats a great love to have because i share it with many people. When you have a boyfriend/girlfriend in high school i personally believe it's not love...yet. Wait a few years. Sorry bout that confusion. Sooooo yea I <3 when people leave me comments cause then I have something to blog about.

light in the storm, that we call life said...

yeah. you do write about love a lot. but i think the phrase means somethig else. say 2 pll are relly close friends, and the love each other, but just as friends. then one day one of them gets hit by a car and dies. sure the other friend is sad, but is it better to have had thoses years as friends? I agree that if its true love they will never leave you. but what if you find it in high school? so what. when it happens it happens. You dont really have a say in it at all. do'nt be afriad of love my friend, it is a wonderful thing. i think you want love. but you just won't admit it. take the chance. God'd plan will unfold. You just have to let it.

Anonymous said...

you write about love alot. you want love soon, you just won't admit it.

Why do you people think I want love so badly. I may write about it a lot but it doesn't mean I yearn for it. It's a hot topic in life. I do admit though it would be nice to have true love but when I'm ready for it. Right now I have all the love i need from my friends. >.< Please tell me what you really think cause i appreciate it....a lot. I know people try to dissect how I feel from my blog post but truly no one knows what I feel but me. Thank you ^.^ and have a nice day


-c'est la vie

tis better to have loved and lost is a bunch of bull

I, for one, believe that it's better to have never loved at all in the sense of the phrase. Picture this. I have never had cable t.v in my life, I'm perfectly content without it. Some of my friends have had it forever. They would be devastated if they couldn't watch all their favorite shows. It's not that good of a metaphor but you get my point. Love is a great thing but I personally don't think that people in high school have experienced it. If you have loved and lost it sucks doesn't it. You wish you never loved at all, still had you heart in one peace, and didn't have to worry about dealing with ex boyfriends/girlfriends. Plus, I think it's not love if you lost it. The person you love would never leave you.

-c'est la vie

my mind

I feel as though my mind is in perfect peace. I feel like I'm truly happy and content. I don't need to worry about anything. Girls are like, the last thing on my mind. If I get a girlfriend then cool, if not then oh well. I'm not gonna push everything aside for girls. I'm taking life as it comes. I'm really happy and care-free. It feels nice. I'm going to excel, not to the Guitar Hero 3 tournament thanks to Kelly. She brought me to my senses with a nice chat that 12:00 in the morning. I think I'm making the right choice.

-on a side note, I <3 muh new hat

-c'est las vie

its time for....

James' definition of the word commitment - willing to respect one's decision on waiting to date and willing to wait until you are ready.

I see to many people rushing into... I don't want to say the word relationship because it really isn't one..... so I'll use hook-up. People should wait until they are ready to handel it. High School definatly isn't the time for this. You should be focused on more important things like; God(for me and some others I know), friendships, grades, sports, and other important things. Girls/guys just distract you from your goal. College. That's one of the main things you should focus on. You shouldn't be worrying who your girlfriend/boyfriend is or who anyone elses is. It just isn't really important.


-c'est la vie

two post in like 10 minutes (im bored)

sooo i was looking at my leg and i kinda have a scar in the shape of a heart. it's actually kinda cool.
back on topic
why does having a boyfriend/girlfriend determine status in this school. It pisses me off. If you dont have a gf/bf or your going out with this person your not cool but if you go out with this person your automatically popular. How has our school system, nay, our population become so shallow . Really people, it's only high school. Get over it. I hope you enjoyed you rant for the day.

c'est la vie

oh how i love to....

rant. ranty ranty rant rant rant. lol its a funny word. i love to say it. when i go on rants its usually to release stress. i dont want to bash the people that they are about but ya know the stuff needs to be said. If im not gonna say it who will. I speak nothing but the truth here people. So if you dont like the truth get out of here. if you do, read on and enjoy my semi-daily rant (i post if im not being lazy =p)

c'est la vie

ok now im confused

Why aren't girls accustomed to guys writing poetry. I'll tell people i write and they'll be like " but your a guy." what does being a guy have to do with poetry. I know most poems express feelings but just because I'm a guy doesn't mean I can't share what I'm feeling. i have a heart to people and sometimes it aches and sometimes it really happy. That's what I write about. I write when I'm anywhere. Poetry isn't just for girls, guys write too
-Rant for the Day
(you may get one more)

just listen

Guard your heart.
Nobody listens to me when i say that.
If you give it away to too many people
there will be nothing left for the one your end up with.
To many people waste their lives on high school relationships
which are meaningless.
These last, at most, through high school.
What happens when you go of to college and meet new people,
Your not going to wait.
What happens when you find out that the "love of your life" met new people.
People are probably going to kill me for this but it needed to be said.
La-di-da-di-da.
c'est la vie

It don't mean a thing if you aint got that swing

So went to muh first diamond dance on saturday. met Ashlie, Kristy, Chris, Carp, Tony, Sam, and David there. had a lot of fun. I did a lot of dancing. It was a lot of fun. Jamie and Meg came later in the night and we taught them to dance. lol. Played a lot of maple after that. Gah im feeling sick. I've got a cold now. Well im off to school

so true for many people

In some respects
I suspect you've got a respectable side
When pushed and pulled and pressured
You seldom run and hide
But its for someone elses benefit
Not for what you wanna do
Until I realize that you've realized
I'm gonna say these words to you

You don't know what love is
You do as your told
Just as a child at ten might act
But you're far too old
You're not hopeless or helpless
and I hate to sound cold
But you dont know what love is...
You just do as your told

I can see you man
cant help but win
any problems that may arise
but in his mind there can be no sin
if you never criticize
you just keep on repeating
all those empty "I love you's"
until you see you deserve better
I'm gonna lay right into you

You don't know what love is
you just do as your told
just as a child of ten might act
but your far too old
your not hopeless or helpless
and i hate to sound cold
but you don't know what love is
no you don't know what love is
no you don't know what love is

you just do as your told
you do as your told
yeah

heart

I want to tell her I like her

but how can i do it

i mean its not like i can just go up and tell her

gahh. life is so confusing sometimes

my heart is torn on this subject

blub. c'est la vie. such is life.....

sick and *insert explictive here* tired of

people.

i hate when you say say you love someone after a day of dating

high school or middle school realationships are over rated

you say you love them and then you break up after a day or a week 

and you spend so much time bawling your eyes out

gahhh you people make me angry

get over it. it was a high school realationship

and that is my rant for the day

thank you and have a nice night

Expression.
Expression of your feeling.
How can you do it
Without seeming like a fool.
Older or younger
People form their opinions.
You can't tell your friends you like someone
Without them judging you.
I like who I like
I don't need your approval.
I don't care what you think
I'm going to follow my feelings

----------------
Listening to: Scooter - Maria (I Like it Loud)
via FoxyTunes

so close to your goal, only to have it snatched away

free for all. i have the sword. Around a corner. BAM sword to the face. another one. i can taste the achievement. then bam. sniper to the head. triple kill with the sword was gone. i was so upset. well halo 3 with alex and jared was wicked sick. gonna get some sleep then some GH3 tomorrow with alex. peace

halo 3 995/1000

Wanting, watching, debating, on which way to run to, haunted, voices, craving, someone to run
to, i haven't lost myself in a long time, i never tried to care when i wanted to, i just want
to be part of something, i just want to be real like you

[Chorus]
Sometimes, i feel like a monster, and times, ifeel like a saint, i'm on my knees, you're my
favorite disease

Silent, warnings, tell me, that i've let things come, undone, show me, teach me, the way to
heaven, cause no other way can, i havent lost myself in a long time, i never tried to care when
i wanted to, i just wanted to to be part of something, i just wanted to be real like you

[Chorus]

Closer, closer, closer to you, i need to be closer, i have closure, and get closer to you,
every step i take...

[Chorus]

And i love the way you kill me, love the way you heal me, i love the way you kill me, love the
way you heal me, i love the way you kill me, love the way you heal me

----------------
Listening to: Thousand Foot Krutch - New Drug
via FoxyTunes

8 more days to halloween, Silver Shamrock

So tonight was amazing. I got to hang out with Alex, Shanks, Nick, Rob, and Jamie. Got officially inducted into pigsaw. Pretty cool. Cleared up some things with people with is good. Hopefully one will forgive me. Got a lot of candy :-). not much more other than that


There's a place of Ocean Avenue,
Where I used to sit and talk with you,
We were both 16 and it felt so right,
Sleeping all day, staying up all night,
Staying up all night.

There's a place on the corner of Cherry Street,
We would walk on the beach in our bare feet,
We were both 18, and it felt so right,
Sleeping all day, staying up all night,
Staying up all night.

If I could find you now
Things would get better,
We could leave this town,
And Run forever,
Let your waves crash down on me
And take me away, yeah.

There's a piece of you that's here with me,
It's everywhere I go, it's everything I see
When I sleep, I dream and it gets me by,
I can make believe that you're here tonight,
That you're here tonight.

If I could find you now,
Things would get better.
We could leave this town,
And run forever
I know somewhere, somehow, we'll be together
Let your waves crash down on me,
And take me away, yeah.

I remember the look in your eyes,
When I told you that this was goodbye
You were begging me not tonight,
Not here,
Not now.
We're looking up at the same night sky
And keep pretending the sun will not rise
We'll be together for one more night,
Somewhere, somehow.

If I could find you now,
Things would get better.
We could leave this town,
And run forever.
I know somewhere, somehow we'll be together.
Let your waves crash down on me,
And take me away,yeah..



----------------
Listening to: Yellowcard - Ocean Avenue
via FoxyTunes

Life in general

Life in general has been pretty... hmmm, so many words describe it. Fun, hectic, confusing, worth living, but overall an amazing experience. Tonight was the awards ceremony at the school. I got my academic letter which was pretty cool. Totally off topic but have there ever been times in your life where you wish everything would just fall into place perfectly and stay that way forever? Feedback and discussion is greatly appreciated. Ya know, sometimes I hate my feelings, sometimes i love them. My heart aches, my brain hurts, and i don't know when things will get better.

In a field outside of town we could always be alone
Carry a blanket maybe a basket - and that's it
Innocence was the key I was locked up never free
Until you turned me

Like vines we intertwined (like vines we intertwined)
Carelessly growing up and growing old
Life was on our tongues (on our tongues)
And it tasted heavenly so good

I wake up and I feel alone
I was just asleep
Right where I belong
Inside this sad, sad song

I knew this was a dream it was too good to be true
Coincidences were a bit much too
Who wants to wake up?
Who wants to lose it?
Who wants to live in this place?
I don't, so I'll be sleepin in

I love this song. The lyrics are great, the music is great, and the lyrics describe a lot of things perfectly.
----------------
Listening to: The Hush Sound - We Intertwined
via FoxyTunes

Sooooooooo

So yesterday afternoon i decided to indulge in my guitar hero fanboyism and purchase the 3rd installation of the game. I dug the 106 dollars out of my pocket and left the store carrying the well known box set with the game and guitar controller. I opened it up at home, put it together, and started wailing on that bad boy. I played for roughly 3 - 3 1/2 hours. The game is enticing, looks great, and a lot of fun. New characters, a battle mode, bosses, and some great songs bring game together. Online play is a lot of fun too. You can face-off with some of the best or with people just starting. all of the songs are available for play so you don't have to beat the game and buy all of the songs to play them. The game may be short but some of the songs may have you stuck on them for hours or even days. Overall I give Guitar hero III for box 360 a 5/5

----------------
Listening to: Thousand Foot Krutch - New Drug
via FoxyTunes

dirty dirty school

Seeing this makes me sick to my stomach,
giving away your body like that.
People expecting things from you,
after you grind with them.
Guard your heart and protect you soul,
that's what I wanted to see.
People with morals, people with values,
that's who I want to hang with.
Not in a giant whore line,
like the rest of the crowd.
I'll do my own thing,
not be another sheep.

----------------
Listening to: Tobymac - Ignition
via FoxyTunes

Not for the faint of heart

it might be hard to read below so he is my testimony.

i grew up in probably one of the worst home imaginable. My mom and dad fought constantly. my dad pushed my mom down stairs and threatened her with guns. they got divorced when i was about 3 and i lived with my mom. My parents decided i should go to a Christian school and become religious even though they weren't. it was pretty fun. at the end of third grade my mom asked me if i wanted to go to shen and i did. i wasn't really in tune with the school. i didn't like the rules or how strict they were. I moved from shen in the middle of 5th grade to Schenectady. in 6th grade i got into so many fights my mom moved me back to the Christian school at the end of the 1st quarter. I was able to go back in 7th grade but i still got into fights. when i moved to Ballston Spa in 8th grade i had to go in to take tests. when i was dine i met Mr. Muller and he asked me to join the football team. i did and it was pretty fun but i got involved in wrong crowds. i smoked pot for the first time on my 14th birthday. after school later that week i was hanging out with one of my friends when we heard about vertical and decided to check it out for skating. i stayed for the whole thing because the speaker was pretty cool. i kept going back and i went to middle school camp that summer. when i got back my friend introduced me to the VPT leader Jon Wise. I got involved in production and it was fun. I got baptised in October and i thought it was gonna be easy life. during wrestling season i got caught up in more pot, chewing tobacco, and drinking. it wasn't everyday but i looked for it. in march i went to elevate and went i went through the window with Jon Wise i realized i screwed up my life, when i got back i fought my problems. In July i went to lift camp. I realized i still had problems in my life. I decided to break up with my then girlfriend and i broke of ties with old friends. In august we went to NYC and i had an awesome time.

----------------
Listening to: David Crowder Band - Every Move I Make
via FoxyTunes

testimonies

******* (8:16:49 PM): hows life??

xmetsrockx21x (8:17:34 PM): pretty good.

****** (8:17:29 PM): kewl

******* (8:17:35 PM): thats good!!

xmetsrockx21x (8:18:26 PM): \yea hows urs

******* (8:18:50 PM): uhh its going good

*******(8:19:02 PM): better than it has in the past..

xmetsrockx21x (8:20:01 PM): thats....good?

*******(8:19:50 PM): yeah it is..

*******(8:20:03 PM): i had a hard week last week..

*******(8:20:11 PM): i made some really bad mistakes..

*******(8:20:44 PM): and i wasnt sure if i should ask for forgiveness.. but i did on sunday.. and i think God listened..

*******(8:20:49 PM): at least i hope he did..

xmetsrockx21x (8:21:26 PM): he did

*******(8:21:07 PM): i think so..

*******(8:22:11 PM): i am so happy that i found God this year.. im not sure i could have delt with some things without him.. but over the summer i feel i turned my back on him.. and i did somethings that were disrespectful.. and so...

*******(8:22:56 PM): but hopefully this club.. n the return of youth group.. and some of that stuff.. will help me get back on track with him..

xmetsrockx21x (8:24:05 PM): yea

*******(8:24:04 PM): i really want to learn his word.. and preach to others.. i want people to see what i have felt over the last few months..

*******(8:24:43 PM): its been super awsome.. and i think that by placing my self with other Christians.. may be what i need..

xmetsrockx21x (8:25:28 PM): yea probably

*******(8:25:34 PM): so..

*******(8:26:04 PM): how did u find God.. or where u raised with him in ur life.. see i wasnt.. my dad is athiest..

*******(8:27:30 PM): he hates God.. i want to help him and change him.. but im not sure i can. because this hate goes back to when my dad lost his whole family when he was nine.. but ive been praying for him.. and well the rest of my family too.. and i think im going to start taking my sister to church.. and maybe my nephew when hes older..

xmetsrockx21x (8:28:23 PM): wow

xmetsrockx21x (8:28:34 PM): here's my testimony

*******(8:28:17 PM): okayy

*******(8:38:59 PM): wow this must be long lol

xmetsrockx21x (8:40:45 PM): i grew up in probably one of the wrost home imaginable. My mom and dad fought constantly. my dad pushed my mom down stairs and threatened her with guns. they got divorced when i was about 3 and i lived with my mom. My parents decided i should go to a christian school and become religious even though they weren't. it was pretty fun. at the end of third grade my mom asked me if i wanted to go to shen and i did. i wasnt really in tune with the school. i didnt like the rules or how strict they were. I moved from shen in the middle of 5th grade to schenectady. in 6th grade i got into so many fights my mom moved me back to the christian school at the end of the 1st quarter. I was able to go back in 7th grade but i still got into fights. when i moved to ballston spa in 8th grade i had to go in to take tests. when i was dine i met mr. muller and he asked me to join the football team. i did and it was pretty fun but i got involved in wrong crowds. i smoked pot for the first time on my 14th birthday. after school later that week i was hanging out with one of my friends when we heard about vertical and decided to check it out for skating. i stayed for the whole thing because the speaker was pretty cool. i kept going back and i went to middle school camp that summer. when i got back my frined introduced me to the VPT leader Jon Wise. I got involed in production and it was fun. I got baptised in october and i thought it was gonna be easy life. during wrestling season i got caught up in more pot, chewing tabaco, and drinking. it wasnt everyday but i looked for it. in march i went to elevate and went i went through the window with Jon Wise i realized i screwed up my life, when i got back i fought my problems. In july i went to lift camp. I realized i still had problems in my life. I decided to break up with my then girlfriend and i broke of ties with old friends. In august we went to nyc and i had an aweosme time.

*******(8:42:25 PM): ohh WOW..

*******(8:43:06 PM): i never knew that kind of stuff about u.. but im glad that u broke those ties.. cause ur a cool kid.. n itd suck if u messed up ur life.

xmetsrockx21x (8:43:49 PM): yea

*******(8:45:38 PM): i tried pot when i was younger.. bout 5 or 6 times.. but i got sick after.. like puking n crap.. n my bro kept telling me it would get better.. but it didnt.. so i kicked that habit.. lol.. and i grew up in a shitty home too.. we lived over top of a bar.. my dad was an alcoholic.. n he beat my mom a few times.. but mostly all the abuse i got was sexual.. my dad has only layed a hand on me once or twice.. that i can remember.. and i desirved them.. lol.. but my mom.. shes the abusive one.. she left bruses on me all the time..

*******(8:47:45 PM): between her n my brother i didnt know who beat me more.. my parents got divorced when i was.. 6 i think.. and yeah.. but my brother took it the hardest.. he got in the wrong crowd too.. did pot. and other drugs.. got arrested for selling.. stole some plants from someguy and almost got murdered.. he was dealing and selling.. he had a pot plant in our back yard.. which my dog ate.. lol he was spaztic that day..

*******(8:47:57 PM): so i can sorta relate to what u had..

xmetsrockx21x (8:48:52 PM): yea

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Listening to: Family Force 5 - Numb
via FoxyTunes

Free Will

After finishing reading Josh's blog it got me thinking. God gave us free will didn't he. People think everyday that it's God's fault that everything in the world is gone bad. It's not. He gave us free will because He didn't want us to be like puppets. He hopes everyday that we will make the right choice instead of the easy choice. We go with the easy choice because: a. our friends will think we're cool, b. because we don't think of the consequences, and/or c. it doesn't take as much work. I faced with difficult choices everyday but I think about the long run, how will this affect me later in life. Some people think that my church is a "brainwashing cult" just because I have changed. They think that I'm a puppet because I'm different from who i was just 3 months ago. It's not that. I want to lead a good life and an even greater one in heaven.

----------------
Listening to: Switchfoot - Stars
via FoxyTunes

over the blah

for any of you that read this blog and are my friend on myspace, the blah part of my name was because there was nothing I could do. There were no volunteer opportunities. Then my friend Ashlie said she needed help tye-dying shirts and bringing them to children in the hospital on Christmas Eve. That was God giving me another opportunity to help out people. I love how He is able to give us opportunities by working through other people.

stand tall

I'm not who you are, I'm who I am
I'm not a puppet, your not pulling the strings
Cut the ties that are holding me down
Rise up against your standards
I won't lower mine just to raise yours
I want to level the playing field
I want to see eye to eye
I won't bend, I won't break
I will always stand tall

nature

Empty field of bright green grass
Light blue sky full of puff-ball clouds
Bright blue seas full of beautiful fish
rain streams down the window
As thunder booms and lightning brightens the sky
Wind blows trees and lifts up leaves
The birds chirp and the squirrels scurry away
As I see all these things, I think
how beautiful nature is.

NYC mission trip '07

This trip was probably the best week of my life. I was able to help so many people and just bless them because of God. I had a great time with all of the people that went and just had a great time serving.

Sunday Night - Got to the church at about 6ish. Went to Project Hospitality HQ and took a quick tour. Saw where we were gonna take showers and we headed back to the church. We ordered pizza had a quick Bible study and went to sleep.

Monday - Went to 514 Bay street. It's PH's food pantry and soup kitchen. Jon and I stayed downstairs while everyone else went upstairs to paint. Jon and I met Pete, Jack, and John. We did a whole bunch of stuff from unpacking lunch boxes to taking out the trash. It was a lot of fun. When we were done we went back to the church and got ready to take showers at about 6. We went to the park by the showers and hung out there while the girls went and took showers. While the guys took showers the girls cooked spaghetti and meat sauce. We ate had a small Bible study, hung out for a while and slept.

Tuesday/Thursday - Food pantry/soup kitchen day. Some of us were upstairs helping people get their food, some of us were runners who but people's food downstairs for them, and some of us were downstairs packing people's groceries for them. during soup kitchen time we dressed up in aprons, gloves, and hair nets. We served people their food and then we ate. After the soup kitchen we went back to working the food pantry. On Tuesday we went to a seminar on substance abuse and homelessness. The two guys talked about how alcohol ruined their lives and led to homelessness and losing their families. On Thursday we went back to the same place and played with kids from the Project Hospitality apartment complex on the playground. These were kids who's parent was trying to get their life back together. The kids were so much fun and they were so cute. I wish I could play with them again.

Wednesday - I went with Bryan, Jon, Zach, and Joey to Key Food grocery store for a food drive. We handed out fliers to tell people what we need at the food pantry. Some people just walked right by and others dropped off bags full of food. We ended up with five carts full of food and sixty dollars in donations. I went in with Zach and Joey and we got ninety-two dollars worth of food. I pitched in the other thirty -two but Mrs. Hoenszch reimbursed me and said i answered her prayer. She wanted to take forty dollars and spend it on cans. I was happy. After we went to a seminar on HIV/AIDS where Joe, Paul, and Will talked about how HIV/AIDS affected their lives.

Friday - We went into the city by ferry. It was Awesomee. We saw the Statue of Liberty and we all took pictures. When we got off we went to Singa's Famous Pizzeria and had lunch. We went to Urban Outfitter and Zach bought a pair of really tight pants. We took the metro to Central Park but first we stopped in the Apple Store. I bought a new case for my iPod just for the bag. We went through central park and made our way to 72nd street so we could see the Dakota. We made our way to Time Square where we had dinner at a BBQ place. We met Vivian's cousin and then went to Toys 'r' us. Took the metro back to the ferry terminal and went back to Staten Island and made our way back home. Awesomee week.

my favorite verse

Isaiah 26:3 - Thou wilt keep Him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusth in thee.

Poem About NYC

Blood red moon over New York City
Night life more vibrant than ever.
The hustle and bustle, the busy streets
The beauty from afar, greater than ever.
City lights illuminated across the river
Boats moving swiftly through the water.
A gentle breeze sways the trees
It's all so beautiful, all so lovely.
A guitar strums gently in the background
Busy cars still at work, late at night.
It's just all the sights and sounds of the city,
But it's all so beautiful.

dread in my head (lol it rhymes)

my surgery is thursday. =[. mucho sadness. i get to go in thursday morning and im in for 5-6 hrs. this is gonna be so much fun. ttyl after surgery

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Schedule Change

Every one of Ballston Spa student's are furious . The new schedule change is being brought in next year and its screwing so many people over. The new rotation will be a 8 block 4 day instead of our normal 6 block 5 day. We have classes every day and only get to have one study hall or elective. I despise this because this ruins my chance for an Advanced Regents Diploma. I am currently signed up for something like 4 or 5 electives. now the only one i can have is a 1/2 year one because of mandatory health. This is ridiculous. The schools told nobody about the change and no parents have been informed about it. This really has to stop. Thats why i am participating in the sit-in on May 18. The B.o.E. has to keep the schedule the same.

kinda how i feel right now

You go and talk behind my back
Don't you know that's whack
It's a personal attack
Oh snap
Some friend you are to me
Ur Miss Personality
Are you blind to see?
Ur such a Drama Queen

This is how i feel. It's kind of hard to explain right now but it feels pretty bad. Don't you hate when it happens. People say I shouldn't care but I do. It really hurts. Okay, rant over. But I still have to add that I can't wait for Friday. Three Days Grace and Breaking Benjamin should be awesome

shake it like an earthquake

Family Force 5, Toby Mac, Thousand Foot Krutch, Building 429. in that order were amazing. The concert was amazing. Buuuuut first let me take you through the events that let up to the concert.

1) Took off from Clifton Park to head to Poughkeepsie. I was driving with Paul, Caroline, Cherish, and Sarah. nice 1:30-2 hr drive. Made a pit stop at some truck stop. Went to use the porto-potty and ew. Paul and Karl were the only ones who used it. The rest of us were smart and waited 2 minutes and went to hess. Went to the church and played on the playground. Then we headed to price chopper.

2)Price Chopper. Woohoo. We all got some food and ate on the grass across from the store. While we were eating Shannon decided to lead the girls into having cars honk at us. One shabby green car with 3 of the whitest kids of ever seen. They just stopped and stared at us for a while. Then they drove about 500 feet and were probably talking. Here's our rendition of the conversation

Wangster 1: dude did you see those chicks
W 2: oh yea they were looking at me
W 3: I think one of the guys was checking me out

OOOOOOKay enough of that. Then we decided to go get kicked out of Toys-R-Us

3) Toys-R-Us. WEEEEEEEE. riding on bikes and scooters, chilling in little houses, and running around. Paul, Shannon, and I all got are picture taken with Spider-Man. Karl jumped in front of one of the shots. its all good though since we completed our plan. To the concert!!!!

4) Ah the concert. We waited in line and played duck duck goose. fun fun. finally got in. Got our seats in the back near windows which was awesome. We went right next to the speakers for FF5 who were awesome. went deaf for a while but was all good. building 429 was next so we all went and got merch. then went back in for TFK and Toby Mac. they were better that expected. We all left and got home around 12:30. it was an awesome day

finally

got a new poem. feedback is appreciated


being an idiot I go too far
digging myself a grave
it's going deeper and deeper
I try to shut my mouth
but what I've said it's already done
the words I've said they cut deeper
then a knife into your back
how could I do that to you
I know the words will hurt
but I say them anyway
I hate the monster that I've become
I want to change my ways
I want to change all this pain
just take back all the words I've said
and be a good friend again.

results from the doctors

i found out the results of my MRI today. i didn't tear my ACL but i tore my meniscus. its worse. i have to get surgery on may 31. after i have to wear a knee immobilizer for 2 weeks after surgery. then i start pt. it really sucks because im out of tennis football and soccer. defiantly sucks

clothes drive, Karl, and indoor football

this morning we went to Schenectady City Mission for a clothes drive. i was on crutches so i was allowed to ride in the back of the truck. i still helped out. i was with Jon, Nic, Ben, Shannon, Caroline, Dave, and Joey. it was pretty cool. then back at the mission i unwrapped my knee and everybody was disgusted over how swollen it was. then we had pizza.after i hung out with Karl and we played WoW and Warcraft 3. Then we jammed out on drums and guitar. Barb brought me home on the way to church. my grandparents picked me up and i got to go to an Albany Conquest indoor football game. they faced Green Bay whatever. i can't remember their name. the final score was 75-27. Albany was wicked good. sitting in the seats was really uncomfortable. my knee was jammed up against the seat and it hurt pretty bad. all the people around us were drunk but other than that it was a pretty cool day

sick again

home from school again. knee is giving me a fever. i guess i also have an infection in it. it sucks so much. my knee is killing me. its still swollen and it hurts to walk. i now have to use two crutches to get around and thats a pain. Monday morning i go in for my MRI results. I'm pretty sure i tore something. If i did i have to have surgery if i want to play sports again. If i didn't i wouldn't have the same capabilities i did before the accident. I also have two options for sedation. I can get put under or get a spinal injection so i can watch the procedure. I think I'm going to watch it if i get surgery.

back from the doctors {edit}

i had to get fluid drawn out of me knee. it was like green/yellow. i filled a 2oz syringe with the fluid. then i had to get an MRI. i get the results on Monday. the doctor thinks i tore a ligament (maybe my ACL). fun fun fun. well im still in pain but they loaded my knee full of novacain(cant spell) get to go to vertical/nine12 tonight. tell ya how i feel later


Well back from vertical/nine12. in amazing pain. hobbled all around and don't feel well. almost fell a couple of times. pain. still had fun. and jon had an amazing speech.

someone needs to build me a bubble...

we took a trip down to the doctors office yesterday, sat in the waiting room for bout half-hour then got sent down to x-ray. wait there for bout 15 minutes and went back up to my room. doctor came in and looked at my knee and told me i have a possible torn ligament. have to go to the orthopedic and get it checked out. hopefully its not too bad

snow

NOOO we don't need all this snow. why is it snowing, its the middle of april. went to the mall today and picked up Karl's and Joey's presents. i actually went into hot topic for the first time and i actually found what i was looking for. cant wait for the party tomorrow. more final fantasy. YAY

wellll

I deleted my old blog without a care then i realized, what if i want to take it up again? So now i have this new blog. maybe ill blog maybe i wont. who knows. the only thing i have to talk about right now is FF XI. great game. as addicting as WoW {karl ;-)}. played for a while {4 hrs} till my brother kicked me off. maybe ill go play some more.